Three men walk into a bar and the barman says, ”If you can sit in my basement for a day I’ll give you free beer forever.” So the first man says, ”Easy. I can do that.” But he walks out after five minutes and says, ”It’s impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there.” So the second man tries his luck, but can’t take more than 10 minutes. Finally the third man goes in and comes out a day later. The others ask him how he did it. He said, ”Easy. I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!”
Category:Drunk Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing “Tuff Enuff” by the Fabulous Thunderbirds. “That IS amazing!” says the bartender and gives the guy his free beer. “If I show you something else amazing, will you give me another beer?” The bartender agrees, so the guy pulls out a small piano and a hamster and a frog. Now the hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive. The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer. A man in a suit, who’s been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a princely sum, which the man agrees to. “Are you nuts?” asks the bartender. “You could’ve made a fortune off that frog.” “Can you keep a secret?” asks the man. “The hamster’s a ventriloquist.”
Category:Drunk Jokes

A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway. I know he replied, I thought I saw her move!
Category:Free Jokes

Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common?A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.
Category:Free Jokes

A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?”The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “What do you want on your back?” “I will take nothing!” says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.”What will you take on your back?” the Amazons ask the American. He responds, “I’ll take the Mexican.”
Category:Free Jokes