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Ant and Elephant have romance

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. “Shit!” says the ant. “One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!”
Category:Animal Jokes

A blind man in a store

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”
Category:Animal Jokes

a nerd, a nude, and a bike

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?”The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want!’”The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
Category:Free Jokes

Accountants and Engineers on a Train

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.”How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”
Category:Free Jokes

A Son’s Love

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.Shortly, he received this reply,”For HEAVEN’S SAKE Dad, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the Money!”At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any money.Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.His son’s reply was: “Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It’s the best I could do from here.”
Category:Free Jokes