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Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List B’ Category

Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?A:Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won’t follow you around for a week.
Category:Blonde Jokes

Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? A: “Daddy! can I go to Miami! Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?A: She turned it over and used the other side. Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?A: Blow in her ear. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?A: There are some things even a blonde won’t do.Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. Q: Why do blondes look up and smile at lightning?A: They think someone is taking their picture. Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline! Q: Why do blondes have square breasts? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box! Q: What do UFO’s and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any. Q: Why can’t blondes count to 70? A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful. Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?A: Some traffic signs say stop. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the waitress when reading her nametag? A: “Mary… that’s cute. What did you name the other one?” Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? A: The noise gave her a headache. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747. Q: What do blondes say after sex?A: “Thanks, guys!”
Category:Blonde Jokes

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”
Category:Blonde Jokes

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn’t be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two. After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. “What took you so long?” inquired the Redhead.”There were some strong currents out there! But I’m here now! Am I the last?” replied the Brunette.”No. Blondie is still out there somewhere.” They decided to wait.Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde “What took you so long?”"What do you expect? You guy’s cheated, replied the idignant blonde, “You used your hands!”
Category:Blonde Jokes

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, “Can you help me when you get home?”"Sure,” he replies. “What’s the problem?”"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can’t even find the edge pieces.” “Look on the box,” he said. “There’s always a picture of what the puzzle is.” “It’s a big rooster,” she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, “Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box.”
Category:Blonde Jokes