Funny Jokes – Clean Jokes – Joke of The Day

Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List F’ Category

For all animal lovers out there:How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire. and…How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
Category:Animal World

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.”I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”"Excuse me?” the accountant said.”I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.”"I see,” the accountant said. “And how much does the job pay?”"I’ll start you at eighty thousand.”"Eighty thousand dollars!” the accountant exclaimed. “How can such a small business afford a sum like that?”"That,” the owner said, “is your first worry.”
Category:At Work

A police officer arrives at an accident scene whereapparently three blondes have leaped to their deathfrom a very tall building… he suddenly notices thatone is still breathing so he approaches her and asks:”why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap outof that building?”The blond answers in a very weak voice: “we wanted totry out our new maxi-pads with wings”…
Category:Blonds

Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recentlydivorced mother her age? She told him that was not a questionto ask and that he shouldn’t ask it again.He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that shewouldn’t answer the question and that he shouldn’t ask it again.The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced.Once again, she told him that it was not a question he should askand to not ask that question again. He went away.A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She askedwhat he was doing and as he turn toward his mother, he beamingly toldher he had found all the answers to his questions by looking at herdriver’s license.He said, “Mother, you’re 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddydivorced you because you got an ‘F’ in sex.”
Category:Children

Teacher: Why are you late?Little Johnny: Because of the sign.Teacher: What sign?Little Johnny: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow. “That’s what Idid.
Category:Children