Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List J’ Category
Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you.
“Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you.”THIS MEANS:1. He doesn’t feel the way he usually does.2. He is not in complete control of his hands.3. His emotions are shattered.4. His skin is numb.5. He has transofrmed into an alter-ego (i.e. professional wrestler)6. He is not feeling himself, in a biblical sense.7. He has been covered in saran-wrap.8. He is in an isolation tank.9. He wanted to take a day off but couldn’t come up with an actual illness to fake.10. He is feeling others.:) by Jennifer Schmidt and Nick GassJenSch@aol.com
Category:At Work
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve…
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.
Category:At Work
Jon starts working in a lumber camp…
Jon starts working in a lumber camp. The boss says, “We work twelve hours a day, we eat two meals a day, lights out at ten-thirty, and you can put your dick in the barrel over there for a blow job any day but Thursday.”Jon says, “Why not Thursday?”The boss says, “Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel.”
Category:At Work
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time…
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river (look, my suit’s still damp), ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson’s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.”"You’ll have to do better than that, Jones,” said the boss, obviously disappointed. “No woman can get ready in ten minutes.”
Category:At Work
Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends…
Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Category:Blonds