Funny Jokes – Clean Jokes – Joke of The Day

Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List K’ Category

|Never write a note or memo if you can phone or visit instead; everyone wants to talk whenever you’re ready.Don’t sit down to talk. The acoustics are better the higher you are, and remember that most people are a bit deaf so speak up louder!Try to talk with _at least_ three people between you and your listener, so that they don’t feel left out.The very best place for a conversation is in the corridor, beside someone else’s desk. If the corridor is full, try leaning against their cupboard or hanging over their screen.Never warn people of your approach by knocking on their desk or cupboard. People love surprises, especially if they’re busy.The best time to disturb someone is when they look thoughtful or are concentrating. It’s your _duty_ to give them a break now and again.To make sure that _you_ get regular breaks, never use a “Do No Disturb” sign. When other people use them they’re only joking.Always hold meetings around a desk. If you book a conference room everyone will think you’ve got something to hide.If the phone isn’t answered after four rings, hang on. Someone will answer it eventually, and they might like a chat, too.Never divert calls if you’re leaving your desk. Your telephone could get into bad habits.Try to whistle, hum or tap your fingers while you work. It is a comfort to others to know that you’re still there.If you have to design the office layout, remember to leave lots of wide-open spaces so that we can see and hear each other right across the floor.
Category:Office Jokes

|A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window… “Pull over!”"No,” she shouts back, “a pair of socks!”
Category:Police Jokes

|Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”
Category:Police Jokes

|The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.January 12, 1993San Francisco police arrested Russell C. Sultan in July and charged him with attempting to extort $23,000 from his mother and girlfriend by claiming to have been kidnapped for ransom.After tracing telephone calls, police, guns drawn, burst into a motel room to find Sultan casually eating fried chicken and watching a 49ers football game.Sultan said the kidnappers had merely left him alone for a while, and exclaimed to the officers, “What took you so long?”
Category:Practical Jokes

|How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?Put a pile of manure in the living room!
Category:Children