Funny Jokes - Clean Jokes - Joke of The Day » Funny Jokes List L

Legion Camel #1

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won’t budge.The woman stops and says, “Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?”The legionarie tells her the camel won’t budge but she’s welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW… smashes the camel’s testicles with the bricks. The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert.The captain drops his pants and says, “Great! Do me next, I’ve got to catch that son of a bitch!”
Category:Animal Jokes

Legion Camel #2

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him quarters, he asks the corporal, “The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?”The corporal replies, “On Fridays, they let us use the camels.”The lieutentent is disgusted, but says nothing. After a few weeks, however, the new officer is very lonely. He decides that if everyone else is doing it, why shouldn’t he.The next friday, the young lieutentent slinks over to the camel pens and, after looking around, drops his pants and starts humping a female camel. The camel is not amused and makes a huge uproar.The same corporal comes in to investigate. “Lieutenent! What are you doing.”"Come on man,” replied the embarrased officer, “You yourself told me we could use the camels on Fridays.”"Yes sir,” replied the corporal. “But most of us just ride them into town.”
Category:Animal Jokes

Legion Camel #3

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

A new lieutenent in the French Foreign Legion arrives at an isolated base in Algeria. As a corporal shows him is quarters, he asks the corporal, “The base is rather isolated, what do the men do for female companionship?”The corporal replies, “On Fridays, they let us use the camels.”The lieutenent can’t beleive it. On Friday, he stands around the camel pen to see what happens. Suddenly, he hears the camp bugler blow a charge on his horn.The ensuing chaos was amazing… men from all over the camp decended on the camel pens like huns attacking a village. Out of the swarm of men, the lieutenent sees the same corporal he met on his first day. He grabs the man by the arm. The corporal shouts, “Let me go! Let me go!”"Good God man,” said the lieutenent. “There are 200 men here and 500 camels. What’s your hurry?”The corporal replied, “I don’t want to get stuck with an ugly one!”
Category:Animal Jokes

lots some more blonde q & a’s

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A: You can park in the handicap zone. Q: What was the blonde psychic’s greatest achievment?A: An IN-body experience!Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?A: Humpme Dumpme. Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?A: It takes too long to retrain them.Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common? A: You don’t know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you. Q: Why don’t blondes eat Jello? A: They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages. Q: Why don’t blondes eat bananas? A: They can’t find the zipper.Q: What will a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.Q: Why don’t blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.Q: Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?A: Cause their balls show! Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?A: It’s the only car name they can spell. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?A: An interpreter. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A: Introduces herself. Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: What’s a blonde’s idea of safe sex?A: Locking the car door.
Category:Blonde Jokes

last requests

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”Suddenly the brunette yells, “Earthquake!!” Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .”The redhead then screams, “Tornado!!”Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .” The blonde shouts, “Fire!!”
Category:Blonde Jokes