Funny Jokes – Clean Jokes – Joke of The Day

Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List M’ Category

What is a man’s idea of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Category:Men Jokes

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the American President cried, “My people’s favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!”"Bill, da Canadian pipple would be ‘appy to do anyt’ing wit’in der power to ‘help you,” replied the Prime Minister.”I do need your help,” said Clinton. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?”"Certainment! I get right on it!” said Chretien.”Oh, and one more small favor, please?” said Clinton.”Oui?”"Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color, at least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter?” said Clinton.”No problem,” replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up and called the President of Trojan Condoms.”I need a favor, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send ‘dem to Hamerica.”"Consider it done,” said the President of Trojan.”Great! Now listen, dey hab to be bleu, blanc et rouge in colour; at least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter.”"Easily done. Anything else?”"Yah,” said the Prime Minister, “an’ print ‘MADE IN CANADA, SIZE MEDIUM’ on each one.”
Category:Political Jokes

Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense….You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, “He’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.
Category:Sex Jokes

Marriage was invented because it’s only so much fun to cheat at cards.
Category:Women Jokes

Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes.
Category:Women Jokes