Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List N’ Category
NCAA ballers to change a lightbulb?
How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
Category:Practical Jokes
New Driver’s License
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. “I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” says the beaming boy to his father. “Nope,” comes dad’s reply, “I’m gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive,just like you’ve been doing to me all these years.”
Category:Travel Jokes
New scientific element: WOMAN
Element Name: WOMANSymbol: WOAtomic Weight: (don’t even go there!)Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Category:Women Jokes
Nice, but rough
An elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horseflykept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it.It was far out of reach.A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak.”Oh, thank you!” said the elephant.”My, pleasure ma’am.” said the sparrow.”Listen, Mr. Sparrow, if there’s anything I can ever do for you, don’thesitate to ask.”The sparrow said, “Well, all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuckan elephant.”"Be my guest!”, said the elephant.So the sparrow flew behind the elephant and started fucking. In the treesabove, a monkey in the tree saw this and became very excited. He started to masturbate, shaking a coconut loose and it fell from the tree, hitting the elephant on the head.”OUCH!”, said the elephant.Then sparrow looked over from behind and said, “Am I hurting you, dear?”
Category:Animal World
Not so fast!
Like a lot of young women these days, one of our secretaries had worked long and hard to put her boyfriend through college. After he graduated and passed his bar exam, I asked her if they planned to be married soon. She looked at me with a big smile and said, “Oh no! Not right away. I want him to practice for at least six months first.”
Category:At Work