Funny Jokes – Clean Jokes – Joke of The Day

|Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?A: Shoot the lawyer twice.Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?A: A good start!Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?A: His lips are moving.Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?A: Professional courtesy.Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?A: Not enough sand.Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?A: To practice.A command was given to a dog: “SPEAK!”The dog said in return: “Not without my lawyer present!”Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlersQ: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.Q: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?A: The lawyer charges more.
Category:Lawyer Jokes

|Yogi Berra Quotes”Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”"Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”"If the people don’t want to come out to the park, nobody’s gonna stop them.”"No wonder nobody comes here; it’s too crowded.”"We made too many wrong mistakes.”"You can observe a lot by just watching.”"I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.” – Yogi Berra
Category:Sport Jokes

Question: What is 1 + 2 ?Politician: Well, if you look at the seasonally adjusted figures,you’ll find that it’s reasonably in line with government predictions.Physicist: I won’t tell you until you tell me what you want to use it for.Lawyer: It makes one and a half each.
Category:Legal

|Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?A: Because it was a double-crosser.Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?A: To take over the other side.Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?A: To get to the other slide.Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?A: To get to the other tide.Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?A: Chickens hadn’t evolved yet.
Category:Animal Jokes