Funny Jokes – Clean Jokes – Joke of The Day

Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List Q’ Category

|Q: How do blonde braincells die?A: Alone.Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?A: Blow in her ear.Q: How do you measure a blonde’s intelligence?A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?A: She drowns it.Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper
Category:Blonde Jokes

|Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?A: To avoid the draft.Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?A: Because the can said “concentrate” on it.Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?A: Trying to hold on to a thought.Q: Why don’t blondes have elevator jobs?A: They don’t know the route.Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Category:Blonde Jokes

|An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. ——————————————————————————–Bentley’s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist! ——————————————————————————–Berta’s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. “The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.” ——————————————————————————–Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist. ——————————————————————————–Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!” ——————————————————————————–Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?A: Too early to say.——————————————————————————–Q: What do economists and computers have in common?A: You need to punch information into both of them.——————————————————————————–Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.——————————————————————————–Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool. ——————————————————————————–NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Newlan’s Truism: An “acceptable” level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. ——————————————————————————–Q: Why did the market economist cross the road? A: To reach the consensus forecast. ——————————————————————————–Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates? A: Deflator mouse ——————————————————————————–Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: It depends on the wage rate. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? A: I’m writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.——————————————————————————–Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None – the market has already discounted the change. ——————————————————————————–Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb? A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.——————————————————————————–Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None – the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution. ——————————————————————————–When drawing up the guest list for a dinner party, inviting more than 25% economists ruins the conversation. ——————————————————————————–Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.——————————————————————————–Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven plus or minus ten.——————————————————————————–Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Irrelevant – the light bulb’s preferences are to be taken as given. ——————————————————————————–Q: What’s the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer’s? A: The economist is the one with the calculator. ——————————————————————————–Q: What’s the difference between economists and businessmen?A: The first don’t keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground ——————————————————————————–Given 1000 economists, there will be 10 theoretical economists with different theories on how to change the light bulb and 990 empirical economists laboring to determine which theory is the *correct* one, and everyone will still be in the dark.——————————————————————————–Q: Why did God create economists?A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.——————————————————————————–Q: What does an economist do?A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.——————————————————————————–Two economists meet on the street.One inquires, “How’s your wife?”The other responds, “Relative to what?”——————————————————————————–To an economist, real life is a special case.——————————————————————————–Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Eight. One to screw it in and seven to hold everything else constant.——————————————————————————–Economists have forecasted nine out of the last five recessions.——————————————————————————–When an economist says the evidence is “mixed,” he or she means that theory says one thing and data says the opposite.——————————————————————————–Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion.” ——————————————————————————–Q: Why has astrology been invented?A: So that economy could be an accurate science.
Category:Office Jokes

|Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.
Category:Free Jokes

|Where do religious school children practice sports?In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet?The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off?For persistent fowl play! Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game?It was a cup draw! Where do football directors go when they are fed up?The bored room! A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club?”Were the crowd not behind you” asked the reporter”They were right behind me all right”, said the manager, “But I managed to shake them off at the station!” Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat?To see if there was any more money in the kitty!
Category:Sport Jokes