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These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: “Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy.” Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: “There’s nothing athletes like – or indeed hate – more than hanging around like this.” – David Coleman, BBC 1 TV “Not being in the Rumbelows Cup for those teams won’t mean a row of beans, ‘cos that’s only small potatoes.” – Ian St John, ITV “Oldham are leading 1-0, a well deserved victory at this stage of the game.” – Tommy Docherty, Picadilly Radio Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3: “We don’t appear to have Jim Fish on the line at the moment.” “Are there any more great swimmers in the pipeline?” – Cliff Morgan, BBC Radio 4 “Andre Vandapole has four silver medals in cyclocross, and none of them gold.” – Phil Liggott, Channel 4 TV “Well, I shall remember that catch for many a dying day.”
Category:Free Jokes

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. “That race was all about competition.” – David Coleman, ITV “And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us.” – Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What’s the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do is it mining and engineering services? – BBC Radio 1 “Marling – unbeaten in her three victories.” Peter O’Sullivan, BBC2 TV: “Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets.” James Hunt, BBC2 TV: “A church spire nestling among the trees…there’s probably a church there too.” – Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV
Category:Free Jokes

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. “The effects are fleeting and lingering…” – Overheard in a hallway “In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted.” – CBS reporter during the solar eclipse “A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.” – Announcer on KZOK radio “He threw 110 pitches in six innings, and that’s a mouthful!” – CBS baseball announcer “An agreement is not an agreement until the parties to the agreement have reached an agreement.” – Irish Politician on RTE radio “This is the biggest pawn that Israel holds in the whole hostage equation.” – BBC world service. “We have two incredibly credible witnesses here.” – Sen. Biden at Thomas hearings from Bob Ericson (Marlboro, MA, USA) “He’s going to step down ’til he’s back on his feet.” – Vermont Public Radio commentator on Jimmy Swaggart’s latest sex scandal
Category:Free Jokes

Q: What’s the national bird of Iraq? A: DUCK! ——————————————————————————– Q: What’s the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad? A: You shout out, “B-52″ ——————————————————————————– The latest from Saudi Arabia and Baghdad is that : Americans claim they have air superiority over Iraq. Iraqis claim they have air superiority over Iran. ——————————————————————————– Q: Why doesn’t Saddam go out drinking? A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home? ——————————————————————————– Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone? A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble! ——————————————————————————– Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program? A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there. ——————————————————————————– Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system? A: A refund. ——————————————————————————– Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero? A: He’s the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.
Category:Free Jokes

Questions that have Confused humankind!!a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, \”I think I\’llsqueeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?\”a.. Who was the first person to say \”See that chicken there….I\’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it\’s butt.\”a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to ahorrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?a.. If the professor on Gilligan\’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can\’t he fix a hole in a boat?a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don\’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They\’re both dogs! a.. What do you call male ballerinas?a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,whydidn\’t he just buy dinner?a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made fromvegetables, then what is baby oil made from?a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?a.. Isn\’t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have thesame tune? a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it\’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it\’s in your ass?a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog\’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can\’t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Category:Free Jokes