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Seeing Eye Dog

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog’s head.Having watched what happened, a passerby said, “Say, why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!”"I know,” said the blind man, “but I gotta find his head before I can kick his butt.”
Category:Animal Jokes

spit on my beer

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

One evening, Frank was drinking at a bar when the bartender came over to tell Frank that he had a telephone call.Frank had just bought another beer and he didn’t want anyone else to drink it. So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that read: “I spit in my beer.”When Fred returned to his bar stool, there was another note beside his beer: “I spit in your beer, too!”
Category:Drunk Jokes

Stumpy Legged Pink Dog

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash. The barman says, ?Geez that’s a weird dog: he’s stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn’t have a tail. I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.? 50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces. Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks. Another trip to the yard and when it’s all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, ?Say what breed is that anyway?? The owner says, ?Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.?
Category:Drunk Jokes

some more blonde q & a’s

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone.Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: Why aren’t blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can’t even keep two calves together! Q: What did the blonde’s right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They’ve never met.Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?A: Because, that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables! Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job. Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?A: So she wouldn’t get Hearing Aides.Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off.Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw “911″ on the back and thought it was a Porsche. Q: Why didn’t the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A: She’d just blow dried her hair and she didn’t want it blown around too much. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Category:Blonde Jokes

Surgery

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

I had my appendix removed. There was nothing wrong with it, I just did it as a warning to the other organs in my body to shape up or they’re out of there-Charlie Viracola
Category:Funny Jokes