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Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend5.0 to Husband1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend5.0.In addition, Husband1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL5.0 and NBA3.0. Conversation8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning2.6 simply crashes the system.I’ve tried running Nagging5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.–Desperate***Dear Desperate,Keep in mind, Boyfriend5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband1.0 is an operating system.Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears6.2. Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty3.0 and Flowers7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband1.0 to default to GrumpySilence2.5, Happyhour7.0 or Beer6.1.Beer6.1 is a very bad program that will create “Snoring Loudly” wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband1.0In summary, Husband1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood3.0 and Lingerie5.3.Good Luck! Tech Support
Category:Free Jokes

Otis, Henry, and Tom were sitting in a bar discussing their wives. Henry started by saying, “I think my wife is fooling around on me. I went home the other day and found a hammer and a saw under our bed. I think she is cheatin’ on me with a carpenter!”Tom answered, “Ya, I think my wife is not faithful either.The other day I went home and found a pipe wrench and some pipes under my bed. I think she is cheatin’ on me with a plumber!”Otis then joins in and says, “Well, if you think that’s bad, I’ve got one for ya. I went home yesterday and found a cowboy under my bed.I think my Lina is cheatin’ on me with a horse!”
Category:Free Jokes

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a carribean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home…Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had 2 bunk beds. So, as they were retiring for the first nite, the husband says to his wife, “Up, or down?”. The wife inexplicably removes all her clothing and makes love to her husband all nite long.The next nite, the husband wonders if he’ll get lucky again… So, he says to his wife, “Up, or down?” She again removes all her clothing and makes love to him all nite long.This continues for 2 glorious weeks.When they arrive home from their trip, the wife retrieves her hearing aides. As they retire for the first nite home, the husband decides to try the magic words again… “Up, or down?” His wife says, “What?”. To which he replies, “During the whole trip, my dear, I said those words every nite and you took off all your clothes and made love to me all nite long.” The wife says, “Ooooh, I thought you said ‘Fuck, or drown !”.
Category:Free Jokes

Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men’s game. “Don’t they know they’re supposed to let us play through?” asked the first man. The other man shook his head. “I’m going to go ask them if we can play through,” said the first man, emphatically, “Enough is enough.”He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost.”Oh God,” he said to his friend, “This is awful. You’re going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress.”The other man shrugged, and said “No sweat.” He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said, “Small world!”
Category:Free Jokes