Funny Jokes – Clean Jokes – Joke of The Day

Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes List U’ Category

|A tourist asks a man in uniform, “Are you a policeman?”"No, I am an undercover detective.”"So why are you in uniform?”"Today is my day off.”
Category:Police Jokes

|User(To the tune of Beck’s “Loser”)In the day of sysop nerds I was a flunkieJolt in my brains and body feeling chunkyWith the plastic mouse balls spray paint the CommodoreSystem install with the hard drive on the floorKill the process and put it in /dev/nullEmail flaming with the user hitting D-controlShell’s called Reno and it’s written in CGot a couple of xterms, keys set to repeatRoot came sayin’ I’m insane to complainAbout an online wedding and a stain on my screenDon’t believe everything that you make(1)You get a cracker from Europe and a login that’s fakeSo write your code in Perl in the darkSaving all your hacks for working at a tech parkYo – punch itSo – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?(Double dense floppy)So – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?Forces of evil in a MUD/MOO nightmareBan all the members in a phony #chat channel ’causeOne’s got a handle and the other’s got a .planOne online spammed the other and ranWith the FTP and the insane print jobThe daytime crap of the alt.test slobHe hung himself with a call to pingTwenty milliseconds and it’s spitting out another stringRTFM if you can’t relateTrade the Sun for a car and the Web for a dateAnd MIME is a nifty hack for mailing to a newbieThat’s choking on my MPEGsSo – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?(Get crazy with the caps lock)So – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?(Drive-by BIFF post)…Yo, bring it on down…I’m a hacker, I’m a winnerProgram’s gonna work, I can feel itSo – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?(I can’t retrieve you)So – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?(NULL)So – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?(Sprecken sie DOS, eh, baby)So – dumping coreI’m a user, baby, so why don’t you kill(1) me?(Know what I’m typin’?)
Category:Computing Jokes

|These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. A reporter comes running up and says, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”The Saudi says, “What’s a shortage?”The Russian says, “What’s meat?”The North Korean says, “What’s an opinion?”The New Yorker, says, “Excuse me?? What’s excuse me?”
Category:Ethnical Jokes

|These two newfies are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away. He replies, “Those ones were pointed on the wrong end.” The buddy gets exasperated and says “You idiot, those nails are for the other side of the house!”
Category:Ethnical Jokes

|A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?” “I’m sure I can.” the psychiatrist replied. “Just go over and lie face down on that couch.”
Category:Free Jokes