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You Know You’re Out Of College When…

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

1. Your salary is less than your tuition.2. Your potted plants stay alive.3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.5. You have to pay your own credit card bill.6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.7. You haven’t seen a soap opera in over a year.8. 8:00a.m. is not early.9. You have to file for your own taxes.10. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.11. You’re not carded anymore.12. You carry an umbrella.13. You learn that “Bachelor” is a nicer term for a jackass.14. “Extended childhood” only really pertains to your salary, which is a little less than your allowance used to be.15. “Twenty-something” means over-qualified, under-paid, and not married.16. Your friends marry instead of hook-up, and divorce instead of break-up.17. You start watching the weather channel.18. Jeans and baseball caps aren’t staples in your wardrobe.19. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.20. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.21. You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.22. You go to parties that the police don’t raid.23. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.24. You don’t know what time Wendy’s closes anymore.25. Your car insurance goes down.26. You refer to college students as kids.27. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum.
Category:Free Jokes

You know you drink too much coffee when…

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.2. You chew on your roommate’s fingernails. 3. You can jump-start your car without cables. 4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in. 5. You can’t remember your second cup. 6. You have a picture of your coffeemug on your coffee mug. 7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house. 8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. 9. You don’t sweat — you percolate. 10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
Category:Free Jokes

You’re so dumb…

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

You’re so dumb, you stare at an orange juice can just because it says concentrate.
Category:Free Jokes

yesterday’s coffee

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

She’s like yesterday’s coffee — a little weak in the bean.
Category:Funny Jokes

you are so stupid…

admin — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:00:00 +0000

You are so stupid that you flunked special-ed
Category:Funny Jokes